In my previous post, I wrote on Accepting Your Limits in Your Children’s Education. In this post, I will explain how you can regain your balance in your children’s education as a mother.
Whether you’ve decided to homeschool or send your kids to a physical school, the key to academic success is to “do what you can, not do what you should.” This is imperative, so you don’t get burnt-out as a mother. I had burnt-out numerous times when I homeschooled my children, and that’s why I say, “don’t allow it to happen to you!”
Mothers always want what’s best for their children. You want to shield your kids from the harmful elements of life and keep them close and safe to home. The intention is ideally beautiful, but it cannot be accomplished at the expense of your well-being as a mom. If you allow that to happen, it can lead you to become exhausted, overburdened and display negative behavior such as:
- You become irritable, yelling more at your children because you have no time for yourself
- You become a hard task master, having less time to play with your kids because you are in charge of so much
- You become resentful, spending less time with your children and avoiding them unless it’s out of necessity
- You become worn-out, feeling tired, neglected and robbed of your life, so you end up bitter and depressed
Do want your kids to remember you like that?
If you experience any of these feelings, you are already doing too much as a mom, and will need to let go of some control and ease more off your plate. This means that if you are homeschooling your kids, you will have to shoulder some of your responsibilities elsewhere and lower your ideals of homemaking a few notches to succeed.
Nothing is worse than a mother who is not happy and always acts grumpy. It is up to you to take care of yourself and to stop allowing your responsibilities to overwhelm you. Think about it, what’s the use of building your child up with a better education, and then tearing him down with your impatient words and actions because you feel overwhelmed.
Regain Your Balance
If your child attends a physical school and you are feeling burnt-out as a mother, you may need to tone down what you are doing. Contemplate all the responsibilities you have on your plate and decide what is more important. You don’t need to be the “awesome mom” and feel obligated to be on the PTO, make homemade cakes for the Bake Sale, or become your child’s Homeroom Parent. It’s okay to be an average mom and keep up with your own responsibilities first. Later when you have more time in your life, you can do those extra things for your child at their school.
The same applies for when you homeschool your children. If you are wondering how to do it all and when to do it all, and you’re feeling pulled in all directions, you need to question the pros of your homeschool choice. You don’t need all your children to be homeschooled or to follow the “homeschool or bust” philosophy out of guilt. You are only able to do what you can, and there is no shame in setting limits for yourself. It is better to be a healthy mom than a frustrated mom, even your family will agree!
See To Your Needs
The first step a mom can take when she’s reached her limit is make earnest and heartfelt dua. Ask Allah SWT for help with your particular need and to ease your burdens. Then, ensure that you are taking care of your most basic needs to maintain a balance in your life. Your basic needs are things such as:
- Your yearly physical – so you know if you deficient in any way because ill-health can also affect mood swings
- Your regular dental checkups and cleaning – to ensure periodontal health because bad dental issues can cause other health concerns
- Taking your vitamins and tonics – so you feel energetic and experience optimum well-being
- Performing regular exercise to take care of your heart, mind, and body – even if it means walking a little each week or doing simple routines from home
- Eating the proper kinds of foods at the correct times – to maintain a heart-healthy weight and a sharp mind
Once you begin to take time for your basic needs, you can care for the needs of those around you. This will ensure you have balance and be your best. If you have to take time away from your basic needs to fulfill the needs of others, you will feel an imbalance and start to feel resentful and bitter – equaling “grumpy ol’ mom.”
Let us make dua for one another my dear sisters and ask Allah to grant us ease from our burdens, gratitude for our blessings, comfort in knowing our reward is coming, and success in raising our children to be righteous, ameen. Now take care of yourself first mom, then do your best for your children, by accepting your limits and regaining your balance.