The Language of Moms

 Momisms

Momisms

Have you noticed how mothers say one-liners to our children which mean something else? What comes out of our mouths are not always what we're thinking. Mothers speak a language of motherhood, which is an evasive array of obscure and passive aggressive remarks. Here are some common "momisms" I've decoded - so go ahead and laugh at your mommy language!

1. When a mom says - "Don’t worry about it!"

She really means - "I'll do it for you as usual lazy bones!"

2. When a mom says - "Nevermind!"

She really means - "It DOES matter and you better do it or else!"

3. When a mom says - "I never spoke to my parents like that!"

She really means - "I bothered my parents and now I'm paying for it!"

4. When a mom says - "I'm counting to three!"

She really means - "Please do it by three, or you won't take me seriously next time!"

5. When a mom says - "Go to your room!"

She really means - "I don't know what to do with you right now and I have to punish you."

6. When a mom says - "Your room better be clean!"

She really means - "I know your room is bad so clean it before I have to yell!"

7. When a mom says - "Whose stuff is this?"

She really means - "I know exactly whose it is so pick it up before I have to yell!"

8. When a mom says - "I'm not buying that."

She really means - "More junk to clean!" or "Omg did you see the price of that?" or "The novelty will wear off by tomorrow."

9. When a mom says - "Are you kidding me?"

She really means - "It's a bad joke or maybe I'm having a nightmare!"

10. When a mom says - "What are you doing?"

She really means - "I'm acting dumb so you stop doing that before it gets worse!"

11. When a mom says - "Because I said so!"

She really means - "I can't be bothered with proper parenting this minute so I’m going to pull my rank on you!"

12. When a mom says - "Can we discuss this later?"

She really means - "Please forget about it because I don’t want to get into it."

13. When a mom says - "We’ll see."

She really means - "Never gonna happen kid."

14. When a mom says - "Who taught you that?"

She really means - "It couldn't come from my sweet child so I'm going to find the culprit and remove them!"

15. When a mom says - "Uh huh. Mm-hmm. I know."

She really means - "I’m not listening to you right now. How long can you talk about this topic?"

16. When a mom says - "Ask your dad."

She really means - "I'm using the chicken way out because I'm too tired to deal with this right now."

17. When a mom says - "I'm telling your father!"

She really means - "You better be scared because I have no more ideas to get you to listen!"

18. When a mom says - "You're going to get hurt!"

She really means - "Why can't you just sit quietly and be safe?"

19. When a mom says -"But your forehead doesn't feel warm."

She really means - "Are you really sick or too lazy to go to school you faker."

20. When a mom says - "Have you done your homework?"

She really means - "The sight of your unproductiveness is making me feel like you're going to amount to nothing."

21. When a mom says - "That’s interesting."

She really means - "What the heck is that?"

22. When a mom says - "That's different."

She really means - "That's plain awful!"

23. When a mom says - "I’m not interested in who started it!"

She really means - "Please don't drag me into this!"

24. When a mom says - "Seriously?"

She really means - "This can't be happening, there must be some mistake!"

25. When a mom says - "Bedtime!"

She really means - "Thank God for bedtime! I have nothing left so please sleep so I can start fresh tomorrow loving you all over again." <3

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